My limits: Six pills a day

I am not sure how I came to the conclusion my comfort level will not include taking more than six pills a day. It may have gradually come about when I started seeing a cardiologist, gastrologist or making scheduled visits to my primary doctor. Of one thing I am sure and it is the visits invariably end with the doctor saying, “I’m going to write you these prescriptions” at the conclusion of a visit. Sometimes, though rarely, the prescriptions are for a limited time but most often in perpetuity. Before you know it you are taking twelve, fifteen or more pills a day and I will not mention the expense. It would be an enormous strain on your budget.

The cardiologist is afraid to eliminate from your diurnal (daily) duties pills prescribed by your primary doctor; your primary doctor is afraid to eliminate pills prescribed by your gastrologist and on it goes. Each doctor smiling as you tell him how many pills you are taking a day.

However, there are people who ware the amount of pills they take a day like a badge of honor. You see “The march of the pills” in a corner of the kitchen table; sitting on the kitchen counter top or prominently displayed in a little gathering on the buffet. Their proud owners are eager to pick up each bottle telling you what it is for; a ritual you have to endure whenever they see you eying their little treasures or politely begin asking about their health. Most of the time, it takes next to no provocation and you except the ritual when you decide to visit them. Who knows? They may have a few new ones to show you. Something to look forward to, yes? I am mindful of “This is my box” from Menotti’s Christmas operetta “Amahl and the night visitors.”

Now with my diagnosis of having diabetes, I find myself also having an accumulation. Not of medicines but paraphernalia. Where to put them all? I resent keeping them out in the open but the drawers in my modest kitchen have my cooking paraphernalia. There is no room. And I am most resentful having to store the insulin in the refrigerator. I am a “the refrigerator is for storing food” kind of guy. It sends my psyche into an interesting direction opening the refrigerator door seeing two bottles of insulin inside. Color me dis-pleased. I do, however, manage to keep my six pills in a top drawer in the kitchen cabinet and there is room for no more. What with my two strainers, (a big one and a little one) a food grater, a manual knife sharpener and a few other things, additional materials would produce clutter.

- Mr. BB, I want to give you these new prescriptions…
-No, no Doctor.
- But Mr. BB…
-How many of my six medicines are you going let me stop taking so I can take the new ones? Which ones, Doctor? I’m listening.
-Huh??
-Sit down, Doctor, we have to have a little talk.
As always,
BB